The Gold Standard: Sofia Vergara

There is no doubt that Sofia Vergara makes Modern Family much more enjoyable to watch but how does she stack up to The Gold Standard. Sofia has taken the mainstream by storm and she is a solidified smoke show. She has one of the best bodies out there and it helps that she has a feisty Columbian accent.  There is nothing better than a little latin flavor to brighten your hump day.

Face: 2.2/3 Probably her weakest asset, and that’s saying a hell of a lot. Definitely not in the bottom of the pile, but not the creme of the crop either.

Ass: 2.8/3 All the hype is about Sofia’s rack, but the ass flys right under the radar until BAM! it’s all up in your face. Just perfection. So perfect, in fact, that we gave it two pictures.

Boobs: 2/2 Good. Lord. Like get the hell out of here, this can’t be real life right? I don’t even need to talk about a motorboat reference, it pretty much goes without saying. And pictures just wouldn’t do it justice, so we animated them. You’re welcome.

Legs: 1.2/1.5 The only point deductions other than her face (which isn’t even bad) is her legs and torso. Retouched pictures may mislead you, but this picture shows that she’s actually human, and not a life-size hispanic Barbie Doll. Try to take your eyes off the boobs for a sec to see what I mean.

Torso: .3/.5 Like the legs, one of the few point deductions. Not to say its gross or anything, but you can’t win em all, even if you are Sofia Vergara. Same picture, it’s the best portrayal.

Overall: 8.5/10 Very Respectable. The definite upper eschelon of celebs, especially since the Eliza Dushku post is under review because of potential bias. Just an all around spicy female. And for reading this whole post, here’s your reward. Once, again, you’re welcome.

Bonus Bounce! I won’t judge you if you stay on this GIF for hours. I did.

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