That Kid and Why I Hate Him

Does everyone know that stereotypical douche-bag faggot that goes to your school? Well at the main location of the The Prime Cutters, we have “That Kid” and of course we fucking hate him. You all know the kid I am talking about, the poser lax bro that thinks he looks good dressed in outlandish outfits wearing colors like pink and yellow and thinking it is acceptable and shows his masculinity. He tries to play lacrosse but of course hes so god damn nonathletic and useless that he doesn’t even come close to making the squad. Fuck that kid and everything about him. Who the fuck does he think he is even talking to me at any point in time. Do not step foot in my house and don’t even think about talking to me…ever, because frankly i don’t want to hear whatever stupid ass ignorant shit is about to come out of your mouth. So if you all know “That Kid” next time you see him, do us a favor here at The Prime Cuts and tell him to fuck off or my favorite saying Blow me. And for all of you who are in fact “That Kid” do us all a favor and leave me the fuck alone.

Really NY Giants? Really?

Photo Courtesy of FailBlog

“The New Meadowlands Stadium experienced two power outages in the 3rd quarter of tonight’s game,” a statement issued by stadium said. “Power was lost when one of the two feeders to the stadium experienced a power interruption.”

The stadium then started taking power from the second feeder, the statement said.

“A second power interruption occurred to the second feeder causing a full outage,” the statement said. “Functionality to the original feeder was restored and we are now receiving power though that feeder.”

“We are currently investigating the original cause of the interruption,” the statement said.

via Blackout brings Giants-Cowboys game to brief halt – CNN.com.

So let me get this straight, the NEW Meadowloands Stadium, you know the 1.6 Billion one, lost power during the Cowboys Giants game? Maybe I’m missing something here, but don’t multi-billion dollar stadiums have, I don’t know, backup power? Like this article says that one generator shit the bed, then a minute later the whole stadium is pitch black. Fans were going crazy getting in fights with each other, and the players hit the deck like it was a terrorist attack or something. I guess turning the lights off is the new international signal for start a riot. Grow up America.
I wonder how many hot girls were groped by creepy old men and 8-year-old boys during the blackout. I think I’m guna look for some statistics on that.

Really Carnival Cruises? Really?

Carnival Splendor being towed to Mexico after being left powerless b/c of a fire

SAN DIEGO – A cruise ship stranded offshore with 4,500 passengers and crew must be towed slowly into a Mexican port and will not arrive until at least Wednesday night, the Coast Guard said Tuesday.

The Carnival Splendor was 200 miles south of San Diego when an engine room fire cut its power early Monday, according to a statement from Miami-based Carnival Cruise Lines.

via Nearly 4,500 stranded on cruise ship off Mexico – Yahoo! News.

So let me get this straight, a massive multi-million dollar cruise ship has one little fire and all of a sudden has no power whatsoever? I’m sorry but isn’t it like engineering 101 to have at least a backup power source? Or just don’t put fire hazards near the box marked “power”? So now all the little kids on this boat have to drift for two days til they get to Mexico with all this awesome cruise shit around them and they can’t even play with it? That’s just not right. And on top of that, once they get to Mexico, they have to ride a bus 50 miles through the desert to get back to the U.S. border. Yeah pile everyone and all their valuables and luggage and money into a few busses and send them into the badlands, that’ll go off without a hitch! It’s only a matter of time before a hoard of Mexican Pirate/Drug Smugglers take over the busses and pillage to their hearts’ content. They’ll probably make the people do human cockfighting or some shit too just for shits and gigs. Carnival’s really got their shit together huh?

The best part of this whole debacle is that Carnival, in addition to refunding everyone’s money, is giving the passengers a free cruise in the future. Like oh okay let me just take work off and grab all my shit and hop on another million dollar fire hazard and be tossed on another Mexican Deathbus and be human cock fighters for the Mexican Drug Cartel, what’s the worst that could happen? Gotta love the compassion of Carnival Cruise Lines.

Really Mila Kunis? Really?

I’m sorry but are you fucking kidding me Mila Kunis? Of all the dudes you had lining up just to catch a whiff of your essence, you land on Macaulay goddamn Culkin. I could go on for hours about how much of a fuck this kid is. And I say kid because he’ll always be the eight year old from Home Alone in my eyes. Like not only did she pick the male version of the Olsen twins, but she’s planning a wedding with this creep. And it’s not like she’s dating him for his personality because let’s be honest his sanity went out the window the second he entered the Neverland Ranch. He better have like a 20 inch dick because there is literally no other reason anyone would come within 50 yards of this gremlin. So fuck you very much Macaulay Culkin for ruining one of my top ten spank bank celebs.
Okay this picture kind of makes me feel a little better. I feel like this picture was taken as a message from her to all guys like me, saying “You don’t really think I like this crazy right? I’m just here for the cash.” So thank you for this Mila, now I can sleep at night. Welcome back to the ‘bank.