The Gold Standard: Sofia Vergara

There is no doubt that Sofia Vergara makes Modern Family much more enjoyable to watch but how does she stack up to The Gold Standard. Sofia has taken the mainstream by storm and she is a solidified smoke show. She has one of the best bodies out there and it helps that she has a feisty Columbian accent.  There is nothing better than a little latin flavor to brighten your hump day.

Continue reading

Shia LaBeouf Gets Pummeled in Street Fight

Article/Video Here: Shia LaBeouf Fight — Pummeled to the Ground on Vancouver Sidewalk | TMZ.com.

Fuckin Vancouver man, just a bunch of ass-holes. Their team doesn’t win the Stanley Cup, they destroy the city. An A-List actor is walking on the street and they beat the shit out of them. Just no respect. I don’t know how they do it in Canada but around here if the star of Transformers is walking down the street you dap him up for being in the same movie as Megan Fox and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, being in Sarah Roemer, and being awesome in Even Stevens. If a guy like Shia is in movies with that caliber of smokes, then you shake his damn hand and show him some respect. Grow up Vancouver.

I rest my case.

The Gold Standard: Eliza Dushku

Introducing Eliza Dushku, many people know her from the original Bring It On and the New Guy, but thats not why we remember her.  She is an absolute fox.  I remember when I was 12, touching myself to her while she was jumping around in Bring It On.  I am sold that she is one of the only reasons that movie got any hype.  I have to admit that I did forget about her since she hasnt done anything the last few years but if she did, I would pay to see it.  So here is my attempt at rating Eliza Dushku, have we finally found our first dime?

Continue reading

Top Ten: Hottest Female Sportscasters

Honorable Mentions:

Hannah Storm

Timeless hottness right here. If she didn’t have such stiff competition she’d crack the top ten easily. Storm is almost 50 she will easily be the hottest AARP card member.

10. Rachel Nichols

Something about Rachel Nichols just screams, “You can get it.” Don’t ask me what that something is though. Maybe it’s all that reporting in empty stadiums.

9. Charissa Thompson

Definitely the dark horse of the top ten. Those eyes say it all.

8. Jenn Brown

Jenn Brown being number 8 on this list just goes to show how stacked this lineup is. The bikini shot was the deal breaker. You win with skin!

7. Melissa Stark

What a face and from what I can see the bod to match. Total package.

6. Lindsay Soto

BOOBS. Oh, she’s got a nice face too, bonus! One pic is more than enough.

Continue reading

The Gold Standard: Zooey Deschanel

Ah the mystery that is Zooey Deschanel. Sexy as hell, but no man can explain exactly what he likes about her. For you idiots who don’t already know who Zooey Deschanel is, she was the blonde chick in the movie Elf, she was in Failure to Launch, and now she has her own new show on FOX called New Girl. The thing is, she’s not one of those chicks who wears next to nothing, so she leaves so much to the imagination, and with the kind of imagination I got, and what she does show off, that’s a pretty deadly combination, and not in a bad way that’s for damn sure. So after hours of deliberating on one of the most perplexing cases on The Gold Standard, here’s our attempt at decoding the mythical foxiness of Zooey Deschanel.

Continue reading

Really Mila Kunis? Really?

I’m sorry but are you fucking kidding me Mila Kunis? Of all the dudes you had lining up just to catch a whiff of your essence, you land on Macaulay goddamn Culkin. I could go on for hours about how much of a fuck this kid is. And I say kid because he’ll always be the eight year old from Home Alone in my eyes. Like not only did she pick the male version of the Olsen twins, but she’s planning a wedding with this creep. And it’s not like she’s dating him for his personality because let’s be honest his sanity went out the window the second he entered the Neverland Ranch. He better have like a 20 inch dick because there is literally no other reason anyone would come within 50 yards of this gremlin. So fuck you very much Macaulay Culkin for ruining one of my top ten spank bank celebs.
Okay this picture kind of makes me feel a little better. I feel like this picture was taken as a message from her to all guys like me, saying “You don’t really think I like this crazy right? I’m just here for the cash.” So thank you for this Mila, now I can sleep at night. Welcome back to the ‘bank.