Ah the mystery that is Zooey Deschanel. Sexy as hell, but no man can explain exactly what he likes about her. For you idiots who don’t already know who Zooey Deschanel is, she was the blonde chick in the movie Elf, she was in Failure to Launch, and now she has her own new show on FOX called New Girl. The thing is, she’s not one of those chicks who wears next to nothing, so she leaves so much to the imagination, and with the kind of imagination I got, and what she does show off, that’s a pretty deadly combination, and not in a bad way that’s for damn sure. So after hours of deliberating on one of the most perplexing cases on The Gold Standard, here’s our attempt at decoding the mythical foxiness of Zooey Deschanel.