The Gold Standard: Zooey Deschanel

Ah the mystery that is Zooey Deschanel. Sexy as hell, but no man can explain exactly what he likes about her. For you idiots who don’t already know who Zooey Deschanel is, she was the blonde chick in the movie Elf, she was in Failure to Launch, and now she has her own new show on FOX called New Girl. The thing is, she’s not one of those chicks who wears next to nothing, so she leaves so much to the imagination, and with the kind of imagination I got, and what she does show off, that’s a pretty deadly combination, and not in a bad way that’s for damn sure. So after hours of deliberating on one of the most perplexing cases on The Gold Standard, here’s our attempt at decoding the mythical foxiness of Zooey Deschanel.

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The Gold Standard: Julianne Hough

Torso= .5

Face= 2.9

Tits= 1.5

Legs= Shes a fuckin dancer, shes got .5 legs.

So we started off  this gold standard segment with the one of the hottest girls in the world.  Look at these pics, honestly how can you argue against it, other than the fact that shes dating fuckin Ryan Seacrest.  Sorry about the lack of ass pics by the way, to make up for it check out her workout video, the bar has been raised.

Ass= 2.7

Overall Rating= 9.1

The Gold Standard

The official Prime Cuts Girl rating system. Learn it.  If you are ever debating whether or not a girl is hot enough to hook up with, just run her through the system, usually for me anyways anything above a 6.5 is worthy. The Prime Cutters are gonna start putting celebrities through the system in search of the Perfect 10, so you best be checkin up on this shit.

Ass= 3 points

Face= 3 points

Tits= 2 points

Legs= 1.5 points

Torso= .5 points