Fuck You Friday: Tony Romo

Sorry I didn’t post this on Friday, I had a real busy day filled with skipping classes and getting drunk. But at this point after watching five weeks of football, I can’t think of anyone who is more deserving of a nice fuck you than Tony Romo. I mean come on man, if you’re going to date the finest females in the celebrity world (Jessica Simpson and Candice Crawford), you gotta back it up on the field. I’m sick and tired of hearing everyone giving this vag the benefit of the doubt for his shit performance and choke-shows on the football field. Maybe he should take notes from Tom Brady, guy has a kid with Bridget Moynahan, then decides he would rather date the hottest supermodel in the game Gisele Bündchen, wifes her up, all the while tearing it up as the best quarterback in the NFL. Listen Tony, if you’re guna date smokes, you gotta have the stones to back it up, and judging by your horrendous performance, you ain’t got em. So, in conclusion, fuck you Tony Romo, fuck you.

The Greatest Invention Ever Made

So, its Sunday your sittin on your couch chillin watchin football maybe smokin an l wit the boys.. or girls who knows. And you’re all hung over n shit because last night you drank 1o cups of coffee and 12 beers all at once because apparently if its disguised with a berry taste and has a cool designed can we think its perfectly fine and healthy for us to pound that Loko until were in a pleasant comatose. Well, the day rolls on and  hunger sets in and the last thing you probably want to think about doing is going grocery shopping and I know some of you fags still live in dorms and shit and you continually eat solid diarrhea  out of the dining halls or whatever, but some of us normal folks like to survive off real food.

Introducing ladies and gentle men the Stop and Shop Peapod delivery service. So, as Tom Brady hits Welker on the slant and your boy passes you the l you can be addin a nice Prime Cut Porterhouse to your basket. I probably spent three days on this thing just browsin the isles pickin out beautiful things to add to my cart. Then once your christmas list…I mean grocery list is complete all you gotta do is set a delivery time and pay the fuckers. I would be lieing if I told I didn’t set an alarm for his arrival, I mean its not every day some kind person shows up to your house with an ass load of food destined for your fridge and your fridge only. Now, okay there is a little delivery charge for this service, but fuck it while your walking back and forth and all through that store listenin to babies cry and fat people softly giggle to themselves in excitement i’ll be watchin Deon Branch catch one deep. For these reasons Peapod is one of the greatest inventions ever made.